Reasons Why I’m Still Single
As I look around my room, at my bed, my TV, and my mini fridge, I suddenly realized, “Huh, I think I get those Doomsday Preppers after all…”
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #643
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
This weekend, my mother met my boyfriend.
She actually liked him.
Ugh, is there anything worse than dating someone your mother approves of?
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #642
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
I don’t like to brag, but… who owns every Scooby-Doo on DVD?
Yeah… it’s this guy.
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #641
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
This is what I did on my first day off in a week.
I present to you… BATDOG!
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #640
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
Some grossly domestic couples hold hands in their sleep.
Last night, I woke up to my boyfriend sleeping, holding my penis.
Awww, how romantic, right?
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #639
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
Last night, my roommate said, “I think I like your boyfriend more than you.”
My response?
“I have physically been inside him. Pretty sure I win.”
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #638
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
Lately, I’ve been having a lot of sex dreams… the only catch?
They all feature the guy that I’m actually having sex with.
I mean, the one place where it’s not cheating…
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #637
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
Did I stay up til 5 AM, downloading the Halloween special, The Flinstones Meet Rockula and Frankenstone?
I dunno, it’s possible. Some might say likely, even… yeah, I did- I mean, I totally did.
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #636
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
Fun fact: it will take approximately 3.27 miles on your morning run before a kindly garbage collector will tell you you’ve been running with bird shit in your hair.
Reasons Why I’m Still Single #635
Reasons Why I’m Still Single
A damn good reason I’m still single?
Cuz most people actually know whether they’re single or not… dating is tricky territory, okay?!?
Reasons Why I'm Still Single 