Reasons Why I’m Still Single #637

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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Did I stay up til 5 AM, downloading the Halloween special, The Flinstones Meet Rockula and Frankenstone?
I dunno, it’s possible. Some might say likely, even… yeah, I did- I mean, I totally did.

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Reasons Why I’m Still Single #636

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Bird-poop-on-boy

Fun fact: it will take approximately 3.27 miles on your morning run before a kindly garbage collector will tell you you’ve been running with bird shit in your hair.


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #635

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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A damn good reason I’m still single?
Cuz most people actually know whether they’re single or not… dating is tricky territory, okay?!?


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #634

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

pepperoni-pizza

The benefit of not being able to sleep at all?
I can make pizza at 7 AM and call it a “late dinner.”
… but really, it’s just breakfast pizza.


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #633

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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Last night, I made a $10 tip on a $3.50 tab. How, you ask?
Simply by taking my shirt off.
I totally get this prostitution thing now…


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #632

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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I’m sure some of you folks have noticed that I haven’t been posting as regularly.
For that, I apologize. I’ve just had a lotta stuff going on lately.
Like, um, I just bought some new meat shears so… ya know, I’ve got that goin’ for me…


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #631

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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The sad part is this totally a normal conversation for us…