Tag Archives: Sleeping

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #640

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

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Some grossly domestic couples hold hands in their sleep.
Last night, I woke up to my boyfriend sleeping, holding my penis.
Awww, how romantic, right?


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #509

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Evidently my dog has an arm pit fetish...

Evidently my dog has an arm pit fetish…

No matter how many times the dog wakes me up by farting in face, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse when the roles are reversed…
not that I did that this morning.


Reasons Why I’m Still Single #345

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

This morning, at 5 AM, a crow started cawing outside my window.
When I yelled “shut up!” it stopped.

… 5 minutes later, there are now two crows outside my window.

Man, not even crows listen to me.