Reasons Why I’m Still Single #644

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

As I look around my room, at my bed, my TV, and my mini fridge, I suddenly realized, “Huh, I think I get those Doomsday Preppers after all…”

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #643

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

This weekend, my mother met my boyfriend.
She actually liked him.
Ugh, is there anything worse than dating someone your mother approves of?

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #642

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

I don’t like to brag, but… who owns every Scooby-Doo on DVD?
Yeah… it’s this guy.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #641

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

This is what I did on my first day off in a week.
I present to you… BATDOG!

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #640

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Some grossly domestic couples hold hands in their sleep.
Last night, I woke up to my boyfriend sleeping, holding my penis.
Awww, how romantic, right?

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #639

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Last night, my roommate said, “I think I like your boyfriend more than you.”
My response?
“I have physically been inside him. Pretty sure I win.”