Reasons Why I’m Still Single #476

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

The other day I watched a Melissa Joan Hart movie. The worst part? I watched it twice to write a piece.
That’s right, I actually analyzed a Melissa Joan Hart movie. I’m not mad… just disappointed.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #475

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Thank God for unflattering party pictures…

No-Shave November is a tough time of month.
The beard that normally makes me look like a sex offender grows bushy and unkempt, making me look like a crazed, homeless rapist. Ah yes… the holidays.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #474

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

It’s weird that “Mo Money, Mo Problems” drawn on the back of a car windshield in dirt doesn’t attract more dating prospects… not that I would know or anything.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #473

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

So, ya know how some people have a midnight snack? Ya know, maybe a cookie or something?
Well, is “midnight meal” a thing? I mean, it’s definitely not dinner, I just had that a couple hours ago, but still, who can say no a midnight burrito?

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #472

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

I watched Liz and Dick last night.
Pretty sure that guarantees a lifetime of celibacy.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #471

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

When looking for things to be thankful for yesterday, all I could come up with is, “I’m thankful Joyful Noise, starring one miss Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah is available on blu ray for only $6.99.”
Yeah, I may have phoned it in this year…

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #470

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

yesterday, my Thanksgiving plans were ruined when I found out that Pizza Hut was closed today.
Mickey and I spent a solid 10 minutes complaining about our lives because we hafta order Domino’s instead.

… happy Thanksgiving, folks

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #469

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

Yesterday, I downloaded two apps for my phone.
One was for a dating site. The other was for Pizza Hut.
Something tells me I’m not a hundred percent committed to this dating thing…

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #468

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

I was always one of those kids who took himself so seriously. Hard to imagine, right?
Still, people never seem to take you too seriously when you’re 6 years old and refusing to celebrate the “wacist twavesties” of Thanksgiving.

Reasons Why I’m Still Single #467

Reasons Why I’m Still Single

I can’t tell if it’s more accurate to compare myself to Cousin It or something in the Prehistoric exhibit from the American Museum of Natural History.
Either way, a trim might be in order…